Show Up to Go Up

Show Up and Move Your Body

Show Up to Go Up

Ep 18 Show Up and Move Your Body

Moving your body and working out have so many benefits. It helps you feel more energized, more focused, stronger, and more confident. See if you can move your body even when you don't feel like it.

Everybodyyyy. yeahhh. Move Your bodyyyy. Yeahhh. Okay, okay I’ll spare you from the misery. I want to talk about the importance of moving your body. Some of you know this but I am actually a group fitness teacher. I teach spin, trx, and high intensity interval training classes. So I think I am qualified to speak on the importance of working out and moving your body.

Look, I get it. There are so many times when I don’t feel like working out. But instead of focusing on how I don’t want to workout, I focus on how good I’m going to feel after I get done. In Katy’s episode that I just released she told a story about Bob Hope and how up until the time he died he would tap dance down the stairs because he knew if he didn’t keep moving he would die. I have been depressed a lot in the past so I know the lack of motivation but when you don’t feel like it - That’s the time you need it the most. If you give in to being stagnant it will create a negative cycle in your life. You’ll feel down on yourself for not working out and then you’ll be less likely to workout the next time.

Don’t listen to your feelings. Oh my gosh feelings. Ahhh! I get it! I am a pisces and I am super sensitive and feel things very deeply. And there is a place for that but if you have a goal and your feelings in a certain moment are pushing away from what you know you need to do to reach your goal then you need to shut it down. Know that you are in control, not your feelings.

The other day I heard someone say that he used to have a super negative mindset so he created a plan. Anytime he had a negative thought he would force himself to have a positive thought. He flipped the script and turned his negativity into a catalyst for change and for something better. So anytime you have feelings of “I’m too tired” or “I don’t want to,” let that be a catalyst to do 50 jumping jacks.

I used to always use the excuse of I’m too tired to workout but the funny thing is working out and moving your body is the very thing that will give you energy! So keep looking forward to what you want. You want energy? Move your body. You want joy? Move your body. You want mental peace and clarity? Move your body. And I know some of you may be injured or may not be able to fully work out. It’s not about a really intense workout - yes doing a really intense workout can give you confidence to overcome challenges but don’t miss the point. You can still move your body in some way, shape, or form. Go on a walk. Dance. Get your blood flowing. You will feel so much better after. Life is all about those small changes. Those small things that are easy to do and easy not to do. Those small things, eventually over time, become the big things. Start where you are but start. Especially right now when times are extra challenging. Make the decision today to start moving your body - even if it’s only for 5 minutes a day. Get in motion because a body in motion tends to stay in motion.

Show Up and Create Something Meaningful (with Katy Dolle)

Show Up to Go Up

Ep 17 Show Up and Create Something Meaningful (with Katy Dolle)

Katy is an actress, comedian, filmmaker, and all around creative who lives in LA and whose notable credits include Dancing Man, Ghost Whisperer, It Hits When you Know It, Smosh, and Buzzfeed. She has had a successful career and she is constantly challenging herself with new things. But, that doesn’t mean her success came easily. Just like you and me she has struggled with fear, doubts and insecurities. I asked her to join me to talk about how she’s been able to push past those obstacles to keep moving forward and create the life she wants.

 

Hey there! My goal is to reach and help as many people as possible. If you like this podcast please share it with your friends so they can be inspired and motivated as well. 

Find me on Instagram at @showuptogoup OR @stephygthatsme 

Contact Katy:

@katydolle

 

Here is a breakdown of our conversation...

1:30-2:40 We talk about how there are two options during these scary times - You can take action and keep moving forward or you can live in fear. Katy has found that she’s enjoyed being able to slow down and enjoy being creative during this time.

2:50-5:08 Katy’s story in her own words - She is an LA native and was the black sheep growing up because her family isn’t in the entertainment industry. She started acting in high school but she knew she wanted to be an actress when she was 9 years old. She went to NYU for college and when she got back to LA after college she fell into the comedy scene because she found an inclusive community that was constantly collaborating and that eventually led her to get behind the camera as well which has turned into a second career. She’s taught herself everything about being a filmmaker just by going online and having the curiosity and determination.

 

5:18-8:56 How did you know your passion and purpose at such a young age? And how have you been able to constantly take action and keep moving forward and create?

She learned from Bob Hope who used to tap dance down the stairs (even as an old man) and said “I gotta keep moving otherwise I’ll die.” She knows that if she is in a dark place and doesn't talk action it only gets worse.

We all have the potential to do many things but figuring out if it fulfills and moves you is another thing. It takes inner reflection and trying different things. You never know if you’re going to be passionate about something unless you try it. She is passionate about create something that will make a difference in life. It’s a journey to find your passion.

 

8:56-9:32 What does it mean to you to show up for yourself?

Always remembering what your values and dreams are and not losing sight of that even if it hasn’t worked out yet. If you have a dream of how you want your life to be just don’t let go. Keep that vision and keep visualizing.

 

9:32-13:06  Can you talk about some of the challenges/struggles you’ve had and how you keep focusing on that vision and keep moving forward?

You have to be able to deal with rejection but more recently she’s had personal challenges. Her brother is autistic and has epilepsy. She is the closest family member to him so when things go wrong she’s the first call. For two years he was having regular seizures and eventually a specialist recommended brain surgery which she viewed as a life or death situation and that helped put things into perspective as far as what’s important in life. Thankfully her brother is doing better now post surgery.

 

13:06-15:50 You talked about going through that helped you realize what is important and what’s not and you spoke a little bit about what’s not important. Would you mind talking a little more about what you found is important during that time?

She found that family and relationships in general is the most important thing. When you’re at the end of your life if you don’t have anyone to share those things with then what’s the point. It’s also important to make a positive impact on the world. Her first big project, Dancing Man, to raise awareness on bullying. That experience showed her the power of people coming together for a cause which inspired her to create We'll Never Make It - a story based on her life that raises awareness about autism (available on Amazon Prime with this link https://www.amazon.com/Well-Never-Make-Katy-Dolle/dp/B084JJ2HPP or you can DM Katy on Instagram @katydolle for a FREE vimeo link if you don't have Prime). The world would be a better place if we can all think about what we do and how we can help others.

 

15:50-18:09 Can you tell us more about your podcast that is in the works?

It’s called Crying Behind Sunglasses and it's about the struggles of being a human. She’ll be exploring all different element of mental health, psychology, self care, and creating a space for people to share their story but also smile and laugh through it. If you’re interested check back in the summer when it’s expected to launch. You can follow Katy for more info.

 

18:09-18:45 What’s your favorite quote that you love or love to life by?

“Your work is to discover your world and then with all your heart give yourself to it.” -Buddah

 

18:45 Is there anything else you want to share with people about what you’re doing?

Her short film, We'll Never Make It, is available on Amazon Prime https://www.amazon.com/Well-Never-Make-Katy-Dolle/dp/B084JJ2HPP. If you don’t have access direct message her and she’ll send you a link to watch!

Show Up With a Morning Routine

Show Up to Go Up

Ep 16: Show Up With a Morning Routine

Having a morning routine has been the biggest change to finding happiness and peace in my life in the last year. By committing to doing it first thing in the morning and staying consistent I have been more peaceful and present in my life.

Some of you may already know this about me but I like to spend a lot of time reflecting. Not looking back and feeling shameful or regretful - although I have done plenty of that in the past. But I like to reflect to think about how far I’ve come and what’s working and what’s not so I can adjust as I need to.

The other day I was thinking about what over the last year has made the biggest difference in my life. Just over a year ago I was really going through it. I was hardcore battling with feelings of not feeling talented enough and was so held back by fear. I was in an improv class - something I’ve always loved - but for whatever reason my mind shifted and I was so worried about looking bad and not being good enough that every single Sunday when class would roll around I would feel so sick to my stomach and it was always a mental battle as if I was going to go to class or not. And I’ll be honest, a couple times I let my fear get the best of me and I wouldn’t go and then I would feel worse about myself and I basically was just feeding that fear and letting it have more control over me. It was crippling and such a cycle because then the next week I’d have the excuse of “well I didn’t go last week so now I’m behind.”

This was happening less than a year ago you guys! My relationship to fear and failure are so incredibly different now that I almost can’t even believe it but what I’m saying is that in a relatively short amount of time you can absolutely transform your life and step into a better version of yourself. For me, the biggest difference was finally committing to a consistent morning routine. You hear successful people talk about it all the time right? But it really does make such a difference. It’s kind of that whole slow down to speed up thing. Every morning I commit to waking up earlier so I can do my morning routine and set my day up for success. And the thing is, the difference in doing this was immediate. I saw immediate benefits AND long term growth. In the beginning it would help me to slow down and take some time for myself (something that I literally never did so it’s no wonder I was so miserable - I used to just rush through life trying to people please everyone and not pouring into myself). But by starting my day off with a morning routine - even on that first week - I was so much more peaceful and present which in turn enabled me to be more helpful to others without being resentful. Having a morning routine is so important to your happiness which translates to your success. It sets the tone for the rest of your day. It helped me to let go of negativity and anxiety so that I can focus on my goals and where I want to go.

There are two biggest things about having a morning routine... I believe it is most effective when you do this work first thing in the morning. Again, you are setting the tone for your day. Life is going to throw a whole bunch of crap at you and if you start your day off right you’ll be better equipped and less reactive to negativity. It is like armor that you get to put on to protect you from negativity or all the demands of other people on your life. Second thing is you have to be consistent. Yes, you will feel some benefits on a day to day level but over time with consistency your mindset will totally shift. Everyone’s morning routine is going to look a little different. I used to fall into the trap of trying to do like 18 things and then it all became exhausting and daunting. Start small. Start with one or two things a day such as gratitude, meditation, journaling, or prayer. Things that will make you feel good mentally. That’s what it’s all about. I currently do about 6 things every single morning to start my day off but I didn’t start with 6. I started with writing 5 things I’m grateful for and meditating. So do what you need to do to take some time for yourself in the morning to set yourself up for success. If you are intentional with it and don’t just do it to check it off a list it will absolutely change your life. If you have questions about what my specific morning routine looks like you can contact me on my website www.showuptogoup.com. I can’t wait to see how your life transforms.

Thank you so much for hanging out! My goal is to reach and help as many people as possible. If you like this podcast please subscribe, review, and share it with your friends so they can be inspired and motivated as well.  For more inspiration and information on how to live your best life visit www.showuptogoup.com.

Find me on Instagram at @showuptogoup OR @stephygthatsme.

Show Up and Overcome a Scarcity Mindset

Show Up to Go Up

Ep 15 Show Up and Overcome and Scarcity Mindset

 

Have you ever been so jealous of a friend or co worker for receiving a job or accolade you wanted? Yeah, me either. Not. at. All. Just kidding. I have. Time and time again. Great things would happen to my friends but they were great things that I wanted and while I was outwardly so excited for my friends, on the inside I was so bummed. I wanted those things for me and I wanted them for me first. I hate saying any of this because it’s not being a very good friend but it was my truth. I used to struggle with a scarcity mindset.

 

Somewhere along the way I developed the mindset that there are only an infinite amount of success and opportunities out there and so that meant if someone else got a win there were less wins for me. But that’s not true! It not only keeps you in a negative headspace but it doesn’t encourage you to reach and stretch for your goals. I have seen so many people create a position at their company that never existed before because they were so clear on what they wanted. We can create anything! But it wont happen if you believe there is only so much to go around. There is enough for everyone.

 

I know it can be easy to be jealous of others but their journey is not yours. Everything is working out for you the way it’s supposed to. I know you’ve gone through hard things and maybe you’re currently going through hard things but you are going to be stronger for overcoming that pain. You have to go through the fire to be molded into something new. If you are currently going through something hard check out this song. It’s so, so good. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xUPgzd3nwMo You have to deal with whatever you’re going through. It’s okay to fall apart. God has a better journey for you than you know!

 

Having a scarcity mindset ultimately comes down to a lack of faith. And when there’s a lack of faith, fear is always present. On the other hand, having an abundance mindset means that you believe there is enough to go around for everyone. A person with an abundance mindset focuses on the belief that there are endless possibilities in life. They look for the positive or at least the lesson or meaning behind any setback or negative experience. They are optimistic and focus on the future therefore creating and attracting positive experiences and opportunities.

 

If you can relate to any of what I’m saying I want to give you some tools that have helped me make the shift from a living with a fearful or scarcity mindset to a mindset of abundance. 

 

1. First things first - admitting this is something you struggle with and your desire to change - You have to go inward. It can be hard to admit some of our shortcomings or dirty secrets but it’s the only real way to change. Let go of your ego and understand you’re not alone in this. Let go of any of the guilt or shame you’ve been holding onto for not being a supportive friend or partner.
2. You’re not a victim. Look for at least one positive thing that came out of whatever negative thing you experienced. Focus on what you have and what you can do rather than what you can’t. “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t either way you’re right.”  -Henry Ford
3. Start a practice of gratitude and/or meditation. Every morning I wake up and write 5 specific things I’m grateful for and I meditate. It’s important to start your day off right and in a positive way. From doing this practice I’ve noticed myself being overall much happier. 
4. If you are feeling jealousy toward a friend or coworker, don’t only admit it yourself, admit it to them. Have the courage to open a dialogue about it. Speaking your truth will always set you free from negativity and anxiety. By communicating how you feel you may be able to learn from that person - ask them how they got to where they are. you may learn that there are things that person envies about you. But most importantly you will be able to go deeper in your relationship with that person and that’s what life is all about.
5. Who are you spending your time with? You are the average of the 5 people you spend most of your time with. Choose them wisely. Choose to associate yourself and be friends with people that have an abundance mindset. People who are supportive and want wins for you. People who don’t complain or want bad things to happen to others. And not only that, what kind of information are you putting into your body? Are you reading and listening to negative things? Start making a conscious effort to read more inspiring content. 
6. Be generous. You get what you give so give to others. Pour into and help others as much as you can. This is especially important if you’re not naturally a generous person. “You will get all you want in life if you help enough other people get what they want.” - zig ziglar. 

 

Thank you so much for hanging out! My goal is to reach and help as many people as possible. If you like this podcast please subscribe, review, and share it with your friends so they can be inspired and motivated as well.  For more inspiration and information on how to live your best life visit www.showuptogoup.com.

Find me on Instagram at @showuptogoup OR @stephygthatsme.

Show Up and Overcome Negativity

Show Up to Go Up

Ep 14 Show Up and Overcome Negativity (5tothrive)

 

I don’t know what it is but I loveeee focusing on the negative and on things that don’t matter. Even though I’m pretty optimistic now I don’t think that was my natural state. I used to loveeee to complain. About so. Many. things. I also used to view myself as what I like to call the "world police." What I mean by that is that I knew what was right and just in the world and it was my job and personal responsibility to dwell on the things others were doing wrong. I wouldn’t tell them what they were doing wrong, of course, because after all sometimes they were total strangers but my job as world police was to know what they were doing wrong (based on what I deemed to be right) and then spend the next 30 minutes to an hour thinking about how my way would have been better. And by thinking about it I was making the world a better place...in my mind. I took this imaginary job very seriously and hopefully you can see just how ridiculous and time wasting this was.

Thankfully I realized two things that have totally transformed my life and made me happier and more productive so I want to share them with you. The first thing is kind of a hard realization and it may be something that you don’t want to hear. Especially right now... But I’m going to have the courage to say the uncomfortable thing because I think it’s important. The first thing I learned is that your life is a reflection of you and your choices. If you are complaining about your life then that’s a pretty good indicator that you may be doing something wrong. But the good news is you contain the power to change that thing. So if you find yourself complaining about money and focusing on how life isn’t fair and how you don’t have enough money for the things you desire, what if you focused on what you could do differently to make more money. Can you learn a new skill? Can you help more people? These are all things that are in your control. If you find yourself complaining about a coworker or roommate a lot, spend some time thinking about why these things bother you so much. Maybe you’re mentally exhausted and so you’re just more agitated in general - I’ve been there. Meditation and rest are both great options for mental exhaustion. Maybe you’re jealous of that person in some way because they seemingly have things easier or whatever reason in which case, thinking about what you’re grateful for is a great solution. Maybe it’s just a conversation that you need to have with them about how what they are doing is bothering you. Again, all of these things are in your control. They take honest conversations with yourself and you definitely have to let go of your ego to understand the problem may not be everyone else but it may be you. They also take action. Your mindset is not just automatically going to shift from a negative one to a positive one. It’s an everyday, ongoing thing but by having the awareness of it you’ll be able to check yourself before you go down that dark path of negativity and blame.

The second thing I’ve learned is that we only have so much mental energy to use every single day. Think of it like a gas tank. You only have so much gas in your tank and it doesn’t matter which direction you go, either way you’re burning gas. So if you are using it focusing on negative things or how you’re not where you want to be, you are wasting that energy and preventing yourself from getting closer to your goals. Your focus and your energy are so precious. They will get you where you want to go but you get what you focus on so what are you focusing on?

Are you focusing on where you want to go and what you can do to be a better version of yourself or are you focusing on how you are a victim to your circumstance and how others are upsetting you? You are a powerful person. Don’t give up that power by focusing on the wrong things. Take inventory. Are there changes that you can make to live a happier and more focused life? Only you have the answers within you so don’t take that for granted.

Thank you so much for hanging out! My goal is to reach and help as many people as possible. If you like this podcast please subscribe, review, and share it with your friends so they can be inspired and motivated as well.  For more inspiration and information on how to live your best life visit www.showuptogoup.com.

Find me on Instagram at @showuptogoup OR @stephygthatsme.

Show Up and Follow Your Heart

Show Up to Go Up

Ep. 13 Show Up and Follow Your Heart (with Leighanna Kennett)

In this episode, Leighanna and I talk about the importance of showing up for yourself and taking action when you hear inspiration calling. People are looking toward you and by you moving forward it encourages them to as well. It's not always going to be easy but you learn by doing so keep moving forward even when you don't want to. Find a breakdown of our conversation below.

 

Hey there! My goal is to reach and help as many people as possible. If you like this podcast please subscribe, review, and share it with your friends so they can be inspired and motivated as well. For more information and content check out my website at www.showuptogoup.com.

Find me on Instagram at @showuptogoup OR @stephygthatsme 

 

Contact Leighanna:

Instagram: @leighannakennett @industrydanceworkshop @lkfilms_

Website: Www.industrydanceworkshop.com

Email: LeighannaKennett@gmail.com

 

:40 Leighanna Intro

 

1:20 Leighannas story - She’s a professional dancer, choreographer, videographer, and photographer. She creates a lot that all comes from her head and her heart.

 

2:00 - Did you always have these huge visions for your life or is it something that’s kind of grown over time?

It’s definitely grown over time. Dance has always been a huge part of her life since 3 but she later realized she could make a career out of dance and build into choreographer and business owner as well as other forms of art.

 

2:57 What does it mean to you to show up for yourself?

If we don’t try to put out our visions into the world then what's the point of just going through the motions of life. If it doesn’t excite you it’s a sign you need to show up for yourself and put something out into the world that helps people and inspires you as well because you'll feel a sense of accomplishment. If you feel a flutter in your heart that’s your passion and purpose and you need to listen to that. You can do anything you want and by taking action it inspires others to do the same.

 

4:20 Did you ever have times where you felt lost?

She knew she loved dance but she never thought dance was something she could pursue until high school. 

 

5:11 What a great world it would be if we could all merge what makes us happy with our career.

 

5:20 How did you come to the realization that dance could be a career?

When she was on the stage she knew it was what she loved to do so she started going to intensives and seeing other people who were doing it professionally so she’d encourage others to find people who are doing what they want or love. During her freshman year in college she auditioned for a show in LA even though she didn’t know if she was ready and she realized she loved it and it was what she wanted to do.

 

6:44 Two takeaways from her response - Surround yourself with people who have what you want so you can learn from them AND show up for yourself despite the fear because the fear will always be there but you just have to make the decision and go for it.

 

7:11 Can you speak on the importance of mentorship and the importance in helping people who are behind you in their journey?

She’s always had a teacher to help give her suggestions but no one gives a one on one game plan and she wishes she had that growing up. She had to learn by doing and although she doesn’t regret what she went through it wasn’t easy so she is finding purpose in helping other people out and teaching others from the mistakes she’s made.

 

8:45 Everybody's story and struggle has power but there are two perspectives on how you can look at it - you can be a victim or you can be empowered and strengthened by those things.

 

9:15 Can you share some of the fears or challenges that you’ve had to overcome in your career?

There will always be roadblocks when you’re going for something but what matters is if you can push through it and find a way no matter what. Just show up, be consistent, and go for it. If it’s what you love to do, don’t give up on it.

 

10:22 In the power of now a lot of times we go into a new situation with past baggage because we’re holding onto old memories. I always say what you focus on grows so you can either focus on the problem or what happened last time or you can focus on the solution and how you can get around that obstacle….. 

 

10:45 Do you have any suggestions or tips that have helped you push past those tough times?

She uses the passion inside her and sometimes it’s tough and tiring. Life is a rollercoaster and you’re not going to have successful days everyday. We’re all human so remember it’s temporary and it won't last but your perseverance and strength will. At the moment you think you can’t get past it but keep going and you will. Just having that awareness helps. Keep growing and expanding because there are no overnight successes. Don’t let anything take away your power. You don’t know who is looking up to you so don’t give up for yourself or for them.

 

13:10 Have you always been so confident? No. She doesn’t think anyone who steps into something new is confident. You won't be amazing at it in the beginning. Keep learning and trying to improve yourself. When you stop wanting to better yourself then you need to stop and reassess what you’re doing. A lot of people think when you hit a goal you’re done but that’s when you create another goal and keep going. No one knows what they’re doing, they just go and try. You develop confidence because you are doing the things you love and you’re inspiring so many people. Growth happens on the outside of the comfort zone

 

15:10 People who are above you and more successful than you they’re not going to judge you for taking a risk, it's only the people beneath you that are going to try to pull you back. 

 

15:15 You are a woman for women. Where did that come from? She is a huge fan of women going for what they want and developing self confidence. She grew up with strong, confident, inspiring humans so since she has such great women in her life she wants to do the same for others and her boyfriend is very supportive of her. 

 

17:22 They always say behind every strong man is a strong woman but it goes both ways. It takes a strong man to support and build up a strong woman.

 

17:40  I love quotes so another question that I like to ask every is what is your favorite quote you love or you love to live by?

“If it were impossible you would have never received the vision.” If it's in your head or heart you wouldn’t have gotten that feeling so you just have to make it happen and show up for yourself.

 

18:18 What are you excited about next and where can people find you?

She’s working on her new businesses and dancing. She’s planning a big choreographer showcase if anyone is interested in being a part of it you can contact her at LeighannaKennett@gmail.com. She’s also doing more filming and dance workshops so be on the lookout!

Show Up and Create Meaningful Relationships

Show Up to Go Up

Ep 12: Show Up and Create Meaningful Relationships

Life is all about the relationships that you build and the people you do life with. The quality of your life is parallel to the quality of your relationships.

In Zach’s interview he talked a lot about the importance of relationships. He even said that he learned early on that life is all about people. I wish I had! The sooner you realize this the better off you’ll be. For the longest time I used to do everything on my own. After my parents got divorced my whole world changed and I was forced to be independent and self sufficient because I couldn’t rely on my parents the way I had before. From the time I was 15 and on I figured things out on my own but was always too afraid to ask for help because I didn’t want to inconvenience people. Being so independent was a blessing and a curse. I’ll tell you why it was a curse...you can only get so far and do so much on your own. And because I was doing all these things on my own and didn’t ask for help, I was less helpful to others and more judgmental. I would think, “well I did that on my own so why can't they?” And then I’d judge them as weak for needing help. Boy did I have it wrong! Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of strength. We are so much better together and we can do so much more. A few years ago I had to humble myself and ask for help and it taught me so much. It taught me that a.) people want to help b.)asking for help creates a dependence on other people which creates deeper relationships with people and c.) it made me want to be more helpful because I was so grateful to people helping me. So, if you’re not asking for help, try it! You won't believe how powerful it is and how generous people are. We are better together and relationships really are the most important thing in life. If you are feeling like your relationships are struggling or you don't have any quality relationships that’s okay! You can easily do one of two things to change that. You can cultivate old relationships OR create new ones. I used to put limits on how my relationships were supposed to be and if I hadn’t reached out to a friend in a year I thought, “well I guess that friendship is over and I missed the boat on that.” No! You can reach out and build that relationship back up at any time! Life happens. There are seasons in your life where your relationships may suffer but that doesn’t mean they’re dead or gone. Show people that matter to you that they’re important. 

 

One thing I like to do is I make a point to send my friends birthday cards or cards of encouragement. Since I’ve moved around a couple times I have friends all over the country and I can’t always be there for them when I want to and it’s just so nice to get a card in the mail from someone. And it’s so easy to do so why not make just a little more effort to show people you care?

 

If you’re thinking that you don’t have any relationships worth building then that’s okay too because there are so many people out in the world. Whatever town you’re in you can easily find people to build a relationship with - no excuses. OR you can build relationships online! Hello quarantine! Just because we're in quarantine doesn't mean you have to go through life alone. Connect with people online. Join Facebook groups that have like minded people and start getting to know people. I used to only want to build relationships with people who are similar to me so I would join meetups and find people who had similar hobbies and that was great - totally good option to find friends. But lately I’ve realized I can learn sooo much from people who are different from me so I’m just more open in general to starting conversations with people whether it’s at work or at Target. We all want the same things right? Love, validation, safety and protection so even if someone looks different that you whether it’s sex, race, or age chances are you can still relate to and connect with them in some way and if not, you can definitely learn a new perspective so it’s a win win. There are lots of ways to get better relationships in your life.  Open yourself up to meeting new people. If you want better relationships, focus on what you can do or give to be a better friend or person. Be open and be interested in others. You never know where those relationships will take you.

Show Up and Be Hungry to Learn and Grow (with Zach Benson)

Show Up to Go Up

Ep. 11 Show Up and Be Hungry to Learn and Grow with Zach Benson

 

Hey there! My goal is to reach and help as many people as possible. If you like this podcast please share it with your friends so they can be inspired and motivated as well. 

For more inspiration visit my website at www.showuptogoup.com or find me on Instagram at @stephygthatsme or @showuptogoup

 

Contact Zach:

@zachvacay 

Zachbenson.life

 

Zach and I talked about some of the obstacles he had to overcome to find success, how he got to where he is now, and how having a mentor and networking have played a key role in his career. Here is the breakdown of our conversation...

 

2:05 - What does it mean to you to show up for yourself?

Waking up every single day, regardless of where you are, and being consistent with good habits.

 

2:50 - Intro to Zach’s story - He was born in South Korea and adopted by parents in Iowa. He didn’t fit in growing up because he wasn’t like everyone else and was bullied. He struggled until he found dance which gave him his voice and gave him confidence and led him all over the world which kick started his career.

 

4:25 - Did the confidence you found in dance give you confidence to push past other barriers?

It gave him the confidence to walk into fear and be okay with rejection and nos. He learned rejection is part of the process and you just have to keep believing in yourself and surround yourself with good, supportive people.

 

5:20 - Have you always had this vision for your life or has it been built from the other things you’ve done?

His friend gave him a break dance book (https://www.amazon.com/Break-Dance-vol-Mike-Garcia/dp/B01GWC12JM) that changed his life. He threw out his back but after he injured himself and was down in the dumps his same friend reached out with an opportunity. He trusted his friend who encouraged him to work with him helping people build their social media presence.

 

7:15 - How do you create meaningful relationships?

Life is all about people. People want to be heard and understood. Hear them and care about them and find a creative way to stay in touch and keep building that relationship.

 

9:35 - How have you become so knowledgeable?

A lot of it is trial and error. When something doesn’t go right he reflects on what works and what doesn’t and talks with a mentor to learn more.

 

10:50 How did you find your mentor and ask them to be your mentor?

Be hungry to learn and ask for help. Get knowledgeable on the person whom you want to be your mentor. Take time to get to know them. You can also join a mastermind group. Surround yourself with the best to be one of the best.

 

14:40 Do you ever struggle with comparison or limiting beliefs?

All the time. It can be overwhelming but it’s inspiring to be by some many diverse people. Don't think small. Anytime you can be around the best instructors, do it and don’t be fearful. Focus on giving instead. 

 

17:15 Why is a social media presence so important?

Do you want to be a consumer or a creator and impact people's lives? Your name is your most important asset. Social media helps widen your net of people you can reach. Businesses come and go but relationships last.

 

18:40 Do you have advice on how to build relationships all over the world?

Pick an industry you're excited about. Learn, take notes, network. Get super specific on what you’re trying to do so you can learn about it and connect with people that need that service.

 

19:50 What is your favorite quote that you love or love to live by?

“Keep small promises and commitments” from The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People (https://www.amazon.com/Habits-Highly-Effective-People-Powerful/dp/0743269519). It’s easy to say but can be hard to do but it’s so important because it means so much to people.

 

20:50 - Zach’s writing a book that’s coming out later this year! For more info check out zachbenson.life. Reach out to him if you want to learn more about growing your following or have any other questions!

Show Up as a Participant of Life

Show Up to Go Up

Ep. 10 Show Up as a Participant of Life

 

In the last episode Myranda and I talked about being a participant in your life and I want to talk more about that. I want you to think about your life as a sports match. For some reason my head goes to soccer even though my foot eye coordination is terrible and soccer has never been one of my strengths. But today this soccer game is a representation of my life and yours.

First I want you to see yourself in the stands cheering for a team to score a goal. Do you know what team you’re cheering for? AKA what direction you want your life to go? Knowing which direction you want to go is the first step. Okay so now that you know which direction and which team you’re cheering for, is your team winning or losing?

When you are a spectator whether your team aka your life is winning or losing is totally out of your control. You are just letting life happen to you without any sort of plan and just hoping for the best. But, let’s say that our team is losing. Again, think about it with life in mind. So your life isn’t going great and your metaphorical team is losing. How does it make you feel to watch your team lose from the stands? Frustrated? Angry? Helpless? Disappointed? You can only do so much by being a spectator and cheering or yelling from the stands. In order to have any sort of control over this game you have to make the decision to get on the field. You’ve got to let go of your excuses that you’re not ready or not good enough because if you want to win this game you’ve got to get out there and do the best you can.

Before we focus on being in the game I want to look at the other side of this so you’re still in the stands but now your team is winning. But do you have anything to do with that? No. It is just lucky that your team is winning and things will likely take a turn unless you decide to get into the game.

Okay so now lets focus on being the soccer player. But we’re not quite in the game yet. We’re at our first soccer practice years prior to the game you were just watching. You don’t know anything about soccer but you think it may be fun. Like me, maybe you’re not naturally good at it the first time you try but you keep showing up to practice because you know that the more you practice the better you’ll be. Are you still with me? This concept can be applied to anything in life. You learn by doing. At the first practice you’re not ready to play in that game. You get better by conditioning and preparing through trial and error. Through listening and watching others who have done what you want. It takes time and effort and commitment and sacrifice but you want to be the best soccer player you can be and that’s not going to happen by just thinking about it. You have to be proactive. You have to work hard.

Okay so now we have laid the foundation and you are finally in the game we watched earlier. Things aren’t going well but you’re in the game and you’ve done the work so you use what you’ve learned from practice. Maybe it works and maybe it doesn’t. If it doesn’t work then you adjust and think how can you learn from this moment. How can you use the loss to grow and become a better soccer player so that you can win the next game? You can’t win every single game and not every single moment of life is going to be a success. But embracing and learning from those failures is how you grow into a better version of yourself and you can’t do that if you’re just watching the game. You have to be in the game to adapt.

Apply this to your life as best you can. What do you want in life and are you being an active participant to move your life in the direction you want? Remember, it takes hard work and focus and life won't always go your way but you can learn from those experiences and keep moving forward. You got this!

For more info you can follow me on IG at @stephygthatsme or go to www.showuptogoup.com

Show Up Despite Coronavirus and Other Obstacles

Show Up to Go Up

Ep. 9 Show Up Despite Coronavirus and Other Obstacles

 

In this episode, my dear friend, Myranda Stangeland, and I talk about how to learn from and keep moving forward to take action every day despite Coronavirus and other obstacles. We talk about how to find meaning in life and the balance between being a go getter and slowing down to rest. Here is a breakdown of our conversation...

 

01:25 - Myranda's Story

She is a normal, average human being with two daughters. She had her first daughter when she was very young which was a challenge. She went to school and graduated in 3 years while working 3 jobs. She then pursued a career in acting and now she's going back to school to study psychology and balancing her passion and growth with raising her two daughters

 

02:30 - Where did your passion for perseverance come from?

She thinks passion for perseverance comes from the Midwest because people in the Midwest understand you get great results from working hard. She learned that from watching her parents growing up. Her parents instilled that same work ethic in her. When you work hard you get closer to what you want in life and that's more meaningful than taking the easy way out. 

 

03:40 - Can you speak on how this scary time of Coronavirus is an opportunity to be the best version of yourself?

It's important when the world comes at you in ways that you aren't expecting, rather than trying to cling to what you had in the past, get very present. What is required of me right now? What can I do right now to get myself better? To learn a little more or grow in the season of life? Life is hard and once you accept that you can engage with challenge by looking at in the face and asking "What am I supposed to do here?" Coronavirus is asking us to engage in our world in a new way so what can you do today to face it and take action. Even if you only make 20 minutes productive everyday that makes a difference over time.

 

05:20 I love how you said this ship may be burning but I'm going to be successful or I'm going to go down trying

And who doesn't want to go down trying? People have a fear of failure which prevents people from even starting but no one cares if you fail or if something looks wrong or right. People respect your willingness to try rather than the result. You learn from every failure you experience. You don't have to have all the answers. What you can learn and understand from each moment? Success is gained learning and understanding of self. Life is a journey so figuring out how to enjoy it along the way is really important.

 

07:20 How did you learn to embrace failure?

She did gymnastics when she was little and always went for it so she learned to trust her body and she is more curious if she's capable than she is afraid. Over the past 5-6 years she's worked on bringing that fearlessness from a physical aspect to a mental aspect. It's okay to mess up. Everyone messes up. There is no such thing as a perfect life. Life is unpredictable so there is no point in holding onto one certain way that it should go. We're all always learning and knowing that takes the pressure off yourself to always be right and life is much more enjoyable that way.

 

10:12 You can be your true self and you don't have to worry about being perfect

Our structures in society contributes to thinking we need to be perfect so undoing those thought processes is really helpful.

 

11:00 Can you talk about how you didn't miss a beat with helping your girls home school when their school shut down even though their school didn't send out any curriculum or guidance?

One of the most important thing of being a parent is modeling the behavior you want to see in your children. She wants to put her and her family in a place of peace so once everything started getting crazy she left LA and went back home to Iowa to get out of the chaos. Her daughters school shut down but didn't send out any curriculum (she has a 10th and 6th grader). She know she had to be proactive and create structure to help her daughters grow and stay consistent. It's not worth it to let go of the hard work that you have already put into this year. Doing nothing wont get you any closer to your goals. We are very lucky for the structure and support we usually have on a day to day but now that the structure is gone, how can one engage themselves even when no one is watching or telling them to? This is an opportunity to practice having integrity and character. You don't have to be helpless.

 

14:50 What does it mean to you to show up for yourself?

She uses meditation in the morning to help calm myself because she thinks every parent is asked to do way too much. Also she tells herself whatever she gets to is enough. Finding purpose has helped her as well. How can she help others or do the things that she knows will be for a better, happier life. It's okay to gauge yourself and your energy and let that be enough.

 

16:45 Do you have any words of wisdom how others can show up for themselves during this time?

Number one - not having social media be your first check in because it often leads to comparison and starts your day of in a way that's not worthwhile. Focusing on the 3 most important things for that day has been a helpful practice for her - however big or small. Give yourself grace but also expect something of yourself. The world responds to strength and action so don't give away your power to create action. You hurt yourself when you choose to zone out.

 

18:55 Take yourself out of that numbness cycle and see it for what it is to help get through it

Some time I can never get back is when I'm hungover because I feel useless. Time is something you can never get back. Don't waste it. Even contributing in a positive way is meaningful

 

20:30 Finding balance between being a go getter and slowing down

It's amazing how much you can tap into when you slow down which is one nice thing that's coming from Coronavirus. The pace of our world is resting. If all you did is hurry from one point of your life to the next, what did you do with it? Are you a function of society or a participant in life? You only get one life.

 

22:40 What is a quote that you love or love to live by?

Great things always come from adversity. Always. Everything that feels like setback or challenge is an opportunity to grow and become a better person.